Heart Talk: A woman with responsibilities

I personally don’t know how to start, God knows all the fears and worries deep within me. But in faith, may He guide me, give me wisdom and a heart to make each of my post meaningful as His will. May you find them interesting, heartwarming and an inspiration.

To start, allow me to introduce myself - it is not my biography then…

About Me

I am Rusell Cubol Yuzon, 39 years old, married and a mother of 2. Physically, I am fat, tall with big body built, just an ordinary look in general. But more than my physical look, I want to share with you my life as a woman with responsibilities.

I am not a master of any, not an adviser nor a licensed professional. I am just an ordinary person with a simple dream. I can only share my day-day endeavor as a daughter, wife, mother, wanna-be entrepreneur, blogger and God’s steward.

I used to work with different private companies for almost 20 years. My work experiences had trained me to start My Little Angels Online Shop. The small business that serves as our source of living. Thank you so much to all unknown person- be it online or offline - who keeps their trust with us.

I am praying to be one of those uncounted God's steward, an ordinary person behind My Little Angels Online Shop.

I am a Daughter

I am the eldest daughter among 4 girls in the family. My father is a farmer, an active political leader and a man known by many at our place. With all his hard work and perseverance to raise us since our childbirth, I truly gives so much credit for everything he has done for us. He may not be a perfect father but despite the imperfection, I am forever grateful to our dear Lord for giving us a father like him.

Since I was a kid, I grew up knowing how busy he is in the field of farming. His clothes, legs and feet with so much mud on it. Rain or shine, earlier that sunrise and as late as evening dawn, he works hard for the family. He is the strongest among us, without him around, I knew my life will never be this way.

My mother passed away last July 21, 2013, around 2 years ago. She was 40 years old then when first diagnosed with diabetes type 1. From then on, she regularly took her health check-ups and medicines to keep her fit and productive. She had been through both with oral and insulin intakes to maintain her sugar level at its normal range as well as to protect her vital organs from complication. But possibly due to its side effect, complications still arise and grows rapidly. After 22 years of life struggles, she met our Creator.

To all the people who had been with us during those hardest days, Thank You so much for God had blessed us through you. I pray that we may pay them back in one way or another.

With all the pains we had face of losing her, uncounted days of tears throughout the denial up to reality stage, wishful hearts longing to see her once again as we got home and on family gatherings; we all knew we need to her let go, so she can rest in peace with our Lord.

In my future post, I will share with you more of how my mother molded me to be a better person, a responsible citizen and a mother to my children. Her memories, values and principles continue to live within us. Her guidance is our weapon to keep away from wrong doings, may as she see us from above, I pray that we can make our Nanay proud.

As long I as live, I am committed to give honor to my parents for raising me up despite the difficulties. I have the responsibilities to provide them whatever i can share - not as a payment for their effort - but to give honor for all the sacrifices that they been with throughout the years of our lives. It's not about money but the love they had given to us to become better of who we are now.

I am a Wife

I am married for almost 12 years with a man I loved so much for 20 years. God knows how I insisted to make him His best for me. I maybe stubborn for that, with all the signs that God had showed me that it wasn’t him, I beg for His glory. I still remember the time I even asked Him to give me just 2 years to be his wife, simply because I want him to be the father of my children.

It was a desperate me then, too blind for love, the result of my disobedience is a history. My married life was never been that easy, it leads me to understand why my mother cried so much on my wedding day. I still remember the time how I wanted to ran away a night before my wedding. But it’s too late to correct a mistake, I knew it will bring my parents to a shameful scenario.

I need to withstand and face the struggles of a married life, for I can no longer rewind the situation to bring back the past. In times of trouble, I cannot just separate, say goodbye, leave and marry another guy. It will just lead to a more miserable life.

When things get rough, I can’t blame anyone, it’s all my choice not His will. In facing the reality of life, I found out that LOVE is not enough to live. To start and rest a day beside him will never be enough, we have children to raise. Every day I wake up with a purpose, not for myself but for my children. God knows I never asked Him something for myself, all of my prayers are for my family, best for my children.

With all the hardship of a married life, I remained thankful to God for a faithful husband. Maybe God knows that I can no longer handles having a polygamous one. It's too much to have, I can no longer gain self-respect then.

To this date, I still hope that in time, I may see the best of him working so hard for his beloved family. We may not be enough for all his effort, courage, money - to stand as a leader of our family. Letting him go will never be easy, we will surely miss him. But I hope to see him at his best- hardworking and good provider for the family he deserves – to be with God’s best for him.

To all the single women out there, pray for God’s best for you, keep on waiting until God gives the best for you. Everything will be on its proper path if we only follow Him.

To all the mothers who are going through like mine, be strong for your children. We cannot be stagnant at one place, waiting for nothing. Our children’s future depends on our dream to give them the best we can. If the father can’t do it, then mother takes charge. Stand up at the soonest time, before we may find ourselves deeply down and broken. God will surely prosper us for He knows our intention.

I am a Mother
In God’s grace, He gives me strength, wisdom and courage to correct my failures – He gives me reason to stand up – my children.

It takes around 6 months after our wedding when we received God’s wonderful gift - our first child. I still remembered the days how I prayed for God’s glory to allow me to experience motherhood. It is my lifetime commitment with the Lord that I will be a responsible mother to the kids He will entrust with me. Pregnancy stage was never an easy but 9 months of waiting are worth it.

It was June 2004 when Sophia Camille came. The responsibilities of being a parent starts then, sleepless nights, excitement of going home after work, providing her basic needs and all the love she deserves.

When Sophia Camille was nine months older, another blessing came. I was so afraid then, feeling that I am not yet ready for another one. But I believe God knows I can do it, I can be a mother to both of them. It was December 2005, when Iya Samantha came.

I wish I had a baby boy, but my nephew is enough, to hugs and kiss him freely every time he is around, filled up my desire to have one. After all, I want to be a responsible parent not just a multiplier of our growing population.

Motherhood is truly a challenging role, multi-task that requires a lot of effort to meet each role as possible, 24/7. Parents are the most strongest shield of every child, all-in-one throughout their journey. We are proudest person on their achievements, in tears on each failures. It's their future that at stake, we need to give our best.

My two little angels are the reason for my existence. I owe a lot to my parents and sisters for taking care of them while I was at work. From that day onward, all my perseverance aims to give them the fair and just life they both deserves. When I stare with their childhood photos, my heart grows big, feeling so thankful for God completes me because of them. They are truly my precious one, so dear and loving.

this photo was taken maybe 2 years ago, they are much bigger and taller now

I am an Employee / Worker / Entrepreneur

I am employed at the age of 18, my first job opens me with so many opportunities, so happy to meet new friends.

I had the experienced to work with electronics, semi-conductor and other manufacturing industries. I had the privileges to meet different people around; there were young and old; big bosses and the rank and files; men and women. There are licensed professionals, consultants, best trainers and ordinary laborers at their field. There are Filipinos, Japanese, Koreans, Taiwanese and American people; some are good, jolly, strict and kind while some are rude.

Best of all, I had the opportunity to work with intelligent, strong leaders, decision makers and amazing people, so thankful for I truly learned a lot from them. If you know me in person, I knew you are one of them, thank you so much for being a part of my being.

I may say that my 20 years of work experiences contributed a lot to become a better person, quite ready to face challenges of life today.

Up to this moment, I am still working, much more harder and longer than before. My kids are still on elementary level, such long long way to go before I can retire.

Everyday I live my life by FAITH, praying for His blessings - wisdom, strength, patience and courage to be a good steward thru My Little Angels Online Shop.

I always pray that He will give us more sales and reseller, new and repeat orders, to provide our needs and somehow be a blessing to others. May God makes me a good steward of His fund, to be deserving to manage His blessings wisely.

In the coming days, may God permits me to share with you how He works on me to learn new things - MONEY MANAGEMENT. It's such a difficult process that I personally find so hard to absorb and act. A learning process that requires discipline in handling money entrusted by God to us. Stressful I might say, truly challenging, but its badly needed to meet my LIFE GOAL. I may start it late compared to others, but it's better late than never.

Truly, I know I have so much more to learn, more opportunities and struggles to face - to be at my highest potential. In His grace, everything is possible.

I want to be a God's Steward

I grew up in a Christian church, a choir member, song leader, even as a DVBS teacher. I had attended several national summer camp, had the experience to meet other Christians from different churches.

I am so grateful that during my teenage years I am so active with church activities. It molded me to be different from the others, I don’t drink alcoholic wine, smoke or gamble and I don’t even go to street parties, disco and the like. He leads me to stay away from those usual teenager’s temptation leading to early marriage, vices, unwanted pregnancy, drug addiction, etc…

But being successful at work is not the measurement of our being. Admittedly, when I started to become so busy at work, it was then the time when my personal relationship with God started to fade.

But He never left me, God makes a way to bring me back at His glorious hand. It was April 2013 after I resigned to my previous work, while watching TV late at night, it leads me to show named CBN ASIA airing at channel 11. I will be much willing to share how God prosper us with His blessings, love and peace.

In my upcoming posts, I will gladly share with you how CBN ASIA had inspired me to become a God's steward. How they continually motivates me to PLANT A SEED OF FAITH - a fruit of God's blessings - so we can be a BLESSINGS TO OTHERS