My Dream House

In one of my QUITE time, somehow God speaks to me to put in writing what I am struggling now. I am hesitant to write about it because its very personal that online world may read it sooner or later. 

My prayer is that our Heavenly Father help me how to start this story. Please open my heart and mind as You lead me to make this post possible. Please be the author of my life, out of my wickedness, pick me up to be your faithful servant. To You alone be all the glory, honor and praise.

It was May 2010 when I decided to apply for housing loan through HDMF or commonly known Pag-Ibig for the shelter of my children. My thinking then was in case of my death, I am sure that they have secured place to live in. It is a 2-storey house, simple, bare type, 48 sqm lot area, good enough for our family. Though I am working at Santo Tomas, Batangas then, I prefer to get unit at Richmond Park Townhomes located at General Trias, Cavite, hoping in the future, I can stay near with my family.

For more than 3 years I am consistently paying my monthly amortization but year 2012 we went through financial crisis in the family. By early 2013, I totally stopped to pay my amortization due to heavy reason that needs priority over our house. It was a big decision to stop the payment but much as I want to continue, I don’t have fund to release. Truly, there are situation in life where we need to weigh what is much more important between life and property.

By the grace of God our family went back to Cavite by April 2014. Since there were no notice of foreclosure from HDMF, we decided to live at our house from Batangas. I went to HDMF Office to inquire about possible continuation of my amortization and necessary payment for the penalty. But HDMF personnel told me that I can no longer do it since my payment lapsed over a year. He told me to wait until HDMF issue offer to purchase where I am the priority to get the house again.

Since then, I strongly prayed that God allowed us to live at that place, to protect us as we start the business at Cavite. I even prayed for house improvement and God bless me all the way until it’s completely done. Truly, up to this moment as I look around at every corner of our house, I give thanks and praise to our Almighty, for I know that it was all His provision that sustain the expenses. 

Above all, I just felt that He give our house a day to day shield from HDMF for I knew anytime they can request us to move out. I still keep on praying that our Lord bless me to save some money that I can pay to HDMF in case notice will come.

Last April 5, 2016, my husband received a letter from HDMF, unexpectedly it was an Invitation to Purchase. As stated in the letter, we are required to go to HDMF Mandaluyong office within 15 days to discuss details of such letter. Failure to do so would mean we are no longer interested for the recovery of the property and should vacate it at the soonest possible time.

Last April 7, we went to HDMF Mandaluyong to discuss such concern. If I am interested to recover the property, I need to pay Php1000 for the Reservation Fee within 15 days. The cost of property is almost Php700,000 and there are 3 options to settle the total amount due

• Cash – need to fully pay Php700K within 30 days
• Installment – payable in 1 year with 12% interest – an equal monthly payment of around Php65K+ for 12 months. Monthly amortization will start a month after the payment of reservation fee
• Housing Loan – can be applied by direct family member living with the same address, must be an active HDMF member. Can be husband, children, siblings whose living in the same house with proof of residency at property address. Subject for Background Check Investigation (CI).

With the given options above, immediately we knew that:

• Option #1 is impossible for us, we don’t have that amount of money. We cannot produce such amount within 30 days.
• Option #2 is truly not affordable and much as I want to commit the payment, we are not earning that much to pay Php65,000 monthly for house mortgage alone excluding our day to day expenses for living and education of my children.
• Option #3 is a No, No for us since my husband is not employed, we are just working together with our online shop to survive our day to day living. He don’t have proof of income to present himself as employed or self-employed. Bank accounts use for payment on online orders are under my name.

Since that day forward, it’s been a sleepless nights, at times I skip meals spending time crying, uncounted days full of worries, thinking for solution to solve the problem.

Honestly, God bless us with some on hand stocks to roll-over every now and then.  We may have small amount of savings for the education of my children. But to lessen the debt at HDMF, we had decided to close our bank accounts both for kids and the capital for business.  But knowing that everything will be withdraw, I don't have extra fund to replenish our stocks. Should our stocks sold out, there will be no source of fund for our day to day living. I even seek my sister’s assistance that may lend to her through personal loan at her company amounting to Php200,000.00.

To work hard for the possible solution, we lay down options based on human thinking

1. To sell the property including furniture, fixtures and appliance inside the house. I  will just ask for 350k as initial down payment so I can fully pay the necessary charges. Upon full payment, HDMF will issue Certification of full payment the same day and Lot Title after 30 days. I posted it online but inquirer did not pursue the interest to buy.
2. To offer the house for rent including furniture, fixtures and appliances with one month advance and 2 month deposit for the security of the property. Same as above, there are inquirers but not yet materialize on our needed time frame.
3. I asked financial assistance to my father but withdrawal of his mutual fund is not timing, NAVPS is very low at this moment
4. My father offered to sell his brand new tricycle with back to back body to add up some money. But just the same, price offer is so much lower than his investment. We rather keep it and use for earning opportunity instead of selling it at loss. After all, it is not his problem, its mine, I need to find solution by myself without disturbing others.
5. My husband ask assistance from her sister but they don’t have extra money to lend with us
6. I decided to sell old stuff we no longer use and/or much needed – only few were sold, others remained for sale
7. I will work hard with my online shop to gain revenue and collections that may add up the needed amount, but due to increase in competition online, monthly sales were getting lower as before

Unfortunately, solutions laid down to solve the problem are all not working despite my eagerness to pursue them. Much as I want to save the property, needed resources are not provided the way I hope it will be. I felt so discouraged, admitting I am not capable to save it. You knew the feeling of frustration that though I work hard, I gained nothing and seems that He keeps on silent in answering my prayers.

Last April 20, we went again to HDMF Mandaluyong to pay for the reservation fee and need to come back by April 29 to pay the initial down payment in order to lessen the principal loan and its interest. More or less, we can only collect Php300,000 as down payment and approximately Php400,000 will be the remaining balance subject for 1 year payment. 

Based on HDMF computation it will be around Php35,600 per month for 12 months + Php6,800 monthly payment to my sister loan for 3 years. House mortgage expense of Php43,200 per month is a huge amount I am sure I am not capable to pay.

Only 2 days from today before April 29 but our fund still not enough to pay the target initial down payment. In this darkness moment, I can only look above and pray so hard that God will open the gate of heaven to shower His blessings upon me. I can only depend on His will, grace and provision – every minute of my life, lifting up to Him all the worries I have. I don’t know where to go and which way to turn, may God clear all the way and be with me in every way.

I am still loss and confused, thinking how this problem might be solve. For I humble myself, I am weak, I need Him in every step of my life. It is only by His grace and mercy where unsolved problem will have a better solution. He can control all the out of control situations that I am in right now and He can provides for everything. Only by His mighty hands, everything will be on its proper place, on His perfect time.

As I face this life struggle, I promise to share its progress thru comments on this post. I want to share it not to boast for anything, but to give testimony of God’s works in my life. Giving thanks and praise for all His timely provision and blessings of good health and family.

As I lift all my worries up above, I want to keep a promise just as Jacob vow to God. I will be thankful for every little or more He give upon me and promise to be a faithful steward for His ministry. I knew He don’t need money from my tithes and offerings for He owns everything. But what He need is my heart and my life, making sure that I don’t have other gods except Him. As I surrender my life to Him, dear Lord, please take charge, Thy will be done.

Genesis 28:20-22 ESV

Then Jacob made a vow, saying, “If God will be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to wear, so that I come again to my father's house in peace, then the Lord shall be my God, and this stone, which I have set up for a pillar, shall be God's house. And of all that you give me I will give a full tenth to you.”

I may not understand the current situation, but I want to keep my hope and faith with our Lord for He has better plan for me and my family. When there's no way to run to, look up -  God will surely make a way, where there seems to be no way.

Despite the financial problem, I thank God for my family that continue to extend their help in working out for the solution. I praise God for all the buyers online and offline that keeps their trust with My Little Angels Online Shop, thank you so much for your help in our financial struggles. Truly, God bless you to be a blessings to my family. May God continue to shower His blessing upon us.

Thank you so much to CCF sermon videos that I used to watch daily online, these serve as my personal guidance on everyday life. Thank you for your encouragement to read the Bible everyday in order to have personal relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ. I am a working progress and far way to go; every encounter with Him is truly such a big blessings. May God continue to give you wisdom, strength and courage in sharing God's word all over the world. I am praying that I may also come and join with your service at CCF Main to actually feel God's blessing in worship.

To God alone be all the glory, honor and praise.